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 Archives 
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Sunday, September 28, 2003
This way to the Ally Pally, chaps! Woo-hoo! We're going to see The Strokes in December, at the Alexander Palace. Which is quite posh, apparently. I knew the shows were going to sell out in nanoseconds, so at 9am on Friday, when the tickets went up for grabs, we were primed and ready... Well, Butter was ready. I was making a cup of coffee and having a chat beside the kettle at work. Actually, the tickets went on sale a few minutes early, and Butter was in like Flynn, whoever he is, bagging a pair. 20 minutes later they were sold out. Like I said, woo hoo! It makes up for missing this week's Suede gigs. This being 2003, Strokes tickets were on sale on eBay within minutes of going on sale and are now reaching crazy prices. Can I take this opportunity to say that people who buy concert tickets and then put them straight on eBay are scumsuckers of the lowest order; the kind of people who used to rob their gran's purse; the kind of people who should also be thrown into that special, new corner of hell where the spammers suffer. It's wrong. It sucks. Suede are playing a free gig at the HMV store in Oxford Street on October 21st. I really, really want to go. Entry is by armband, and the armbands are free. No doubt half the people who get the armbands will put them on eBay. Is it possible in any way to have these people shot? Staying on the subject of music, I've just been listening to the Top 40, awaiting the glorious news about the world's best spandex-clad rockers, The Darkness, getting their first No.1. It didn't happen. They're No.2, behind the Black Eyed Peas. Sigh. Still, all the best records get to No.2: 'Vienna', 'Common People', 'I'm Too Sexy'. I'm sure The Darkness will have this year's Christmas No.1. Either them or that fat girl off Pop Idol. It's been a very musical week. I bought the Suede (yes, them again) biography, plus the Jet album. Also, tickets for Belle and Sebastian's tour went on sale. I really want to see them, but I don't know anyone else who likes them. Is it really sad to go to gigs on your own? Rat watch time: we no longer have a DVD player after Syd chewed through the cable. She's hiding behind the bookcase at the moment. The other day, rather worryingly, she tried to mount Nancy. Remember, they're both girls. Perhaps Syd is confused by her name. And Nancy didn't seem particularly distressed. Sunday, September 21, 2003
I went to see Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi this week - that's Spirited Away to you and me. It's about a young girl who finds herself trapped in a weird world full of creepy spirits, disembodied heads, sentient pieces of soot and flying Maggie Thatcher lookalikes. Hmm, sounds a bit like the Connex office where I used to work. It's a wonderful film - beautiful to look at, eerie and funny and about a thousand times better than anything Disney have done recently. Just as the film was about to start, the old man sitting next to us leant over and growled, 'Don't move or make any noise.' I froze, then Maggie and I spent the half the film shushing each other. When the old bloke started shuffling about I was so tempted to ask him to stop moving... We've bought our tickets for California. Woo-hoo! It's so exciting. Cruising down the highway, the wind in our hair - well, the aircon in our hair, anyway. I need suggestions for the perfect cruisin' in Cali soundtrack. 'Go West', 'California Dreaming', 'The Boys of Summer', 'Summer of 69'... er, not sure if that's got anything to do with California but I'm sure it would sound great beneath the open sky in a pink Cadillac. Shame we'll be in a brown Ford Taurus. (That was a guess, made purely for the sake of a joke.) Sunday, September 14, 2003
Sigh... our week off is almost over, but it's been wonderful having some time to chill out for a little while. Got some writing done, got loads of sleeping done, spent a good deal of quality time with Butter and the rats. We've also booked a short trip to New York for my birthday in November. We're going with Kuwait Airways. No booze. Hopefully no crashing, either. The lowlight of this week was going to do the doctor with my bad back - I've got a dodgy coccyx. At least that's what I think it is, anyway. I can't sit on anything soft. The doctor, who was clearly newly-qualified, seemed quite baffled. She made me drop my trousers and had a poke around then made me have a blood test 'just in case'. So I'll probably be dead before my birthday, anyway. He joked. Last night, while I was at the v trendy Bed Bar near Smithfield Market, Syd chewed through the telephone wire, meaning that we had to buy a new phone today. It cost more than she did. She has also learned to scale the dragon tree. She is SO naughty. We had tears on Friday night because we thought she'd escaped through a hole in the bathroom wall. Luckily, she was just hiding under the bed. Nancy hasn't really done anything to report. She's the straight rat to Syd's clown. Monday, September 08, 2003
 The Full Bronte We've returned from our venture up north, about three stone heavier - each - due to the consumption of vast quantities of beer and black pudding. Alright, that's a lie about the black pudding. But my vegetarianism must have been commented on at least, ooh, a million times this weekend. At least nobody asked me if I eat fish. And I mustn't grumble as we were well looked after by the Butter-relatives. We stayed in Holmfirth, where Last of the Summer Wine was filmed, and saw Nora Batty's house and the Wrinkled Stocking tearoom. Nobody threatened to beat me up for being a southern paff, and we got to see our friend Helen who lives in Penistone. Tee hee. Penistone. Ho ho. Penistone. It never fails to amuse me.  Better than Connex Highlight of our stay, along with visiting Helen in, ha ha, Penistone, was taking a trip on a steam train, something I've wanted to do since I was about six. We chuffed along for 20 minutes then turned around and chuffed back again. It were great. The steam train departed from Haworth, where the Bronte sisters lived. The Buttermother went wandering across Wuthering Heights, but probably didn't re-enact the Kate Bush video. Anyway, we're back now in the land of quiche and expensive beer. My sister, Ali, rat-sitted for us and has done a grand job. Here's a picture of Syd clambering on the clothes horse.  Thursday, September 04, 2003
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUTTER! Today, Butter turned 30. The big three zero. Ah, I remember it well... We've just returned from Hatton Garden in London, where we went diamond shopping. No, not diamond rings - don't get excited, mum. A pair of platinum diamond earrings. They sparkle and shine like... er, like diamonds. My girlfriend is lying on the bed gazing at them as I type this. I think that stuff about diamonds being girls' best friends is scarily true. We went to Madame Tussauds because I wanted to try out the Simon Cowell Pop Idol exhibit - but it's £17.99 to get in! F*** that. Rat watch: Syd and Nancy are now free to scamper and scurry around our living room. Syd enjoys digging in the plant pot and spraying dirt everywhere. Nancy prefers to hide behind the bookcase. For hours. Even the rustle of the choc drops packed cannot tempt her out. After it got past our bedtime, there was only one course of action: I had to remove EVERY book from the bookcase, pull the bookcase out from the wall and retrieve the very naughty rat. Here is a shot of the devastation: 
We're heading oop north tomorrow to visit the Butterfamily, so this will be the last post for a few days. My sister is going to be ratsitting while we're away. It's a very important job. |