Wednesday, October 27, 2004
So, it's the big day tomorrow - my cast comes off (assuming everything's okay). Can it really be six weeks since The Accident? It's been the most surreal month-and-a-half of my life. Here are some things I've learned during my period of 'rest':

1) Codeine is great.
2) When you go out on crutches, people either stare at you as if you're the elephant man, skirt around you like you've got leprosy or completely ignore you and try to knock you over. Only one woman - in NatWest - who told me to 'hobble over here' treated me as if I wasn't about to die or was already dead.
3) People stuck at home with broadband shouldn't be allowed to have a credit card and/or access to ebay.
4) However, 24-hour access to ebay does mean you can buy and sell and make quite a lot of money.
5) You can go six weeks without a bath and not smell really bad. Er, I think so anyway (or is that why lots of people were avoiding me in the street?)
6) BBC 6Music is a fantastic radio station
7) Butter is an extremely lovely, patient girlfriend (OK, I knew that anyway)
8) That when you tell people you tripped over and broke you're knee they are 92% certain to say, 'Had you been drinking?'
9) That being stuck indoors for three weeks without a single trip outside is enough to drive you TOTALLY F*CKING BONKERS!

And I haven't watched daytime TV once. Not once!