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 Archives 
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
So far I've been embarrassingly inaccurate with my Big Brother predictions - last night, Michelle was chucked out by the idiotic public. This happens every year - the most entertaining housemate gets the boot, while the dull, inoffensive ones stay till the last week when nobody votes for them to win. The vitriol that has been directed against Michelle in the press and on the BB forums over the last week has been disgusting. She's put on some weight - so she gets called Jabba the Hutt. She's possessive of Stu, so she's a bunny boiler. Misogynistic crap. I hope Michelle - who was the unrivalled star of BB5 - goes on to make us much money as the equally-reviled Jade Goody and that, whether or not she ends up with chicken Stu, she's happy. Bye bye, Michelle - the last week of Big Brother will be dull without you. The silver lining to this cloud, though, is that Nadia is almost certain to win and I'll get my cash! For what it's worth, I reckon Shell will be out next, and can see Jason coming in the top 3 now. Sunday, July 25, 2004
I just wrote a very long and - believe me - exciting entry...and then deleted the whole thing by mistake. Aaaargh! I really don't have the energy to rewrite it, but it involved: a trip on a steam train; a wander through an enchanted forest and a sighting of Jimmy Nesbitt. And no, it had nothing to do with Harry Potter. Oh well. Here's a picture of Butter instead: 
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
We're running a Big Brother prediction challenge in my office. For the record, this is the order in which I think the remaining housemates will finish, with 1 as the winner, 7 the next to be evicted. 1. Nadia 2. Michelle 3. Dan 4. Stuart 5. Shell 6. Victor 7. Jason Sunday, July 18, 2004
Butter and I went to see Belle & Sebastian yesterday and had a marvellous time. The setting - the courtyard of Somerset House, a grand house on the banks of the Thames - was perfect, as was the setlist. Good crowd too. Last time I saw B&S, the audience acted like they'd just been zapped with stun guns. They weren't exactly moshing last night, but they got into it at least. Even Butter - not B&S's biggest fan - enjoyed herself, particularly their lovely version of 'Waterloo Sunset'. Making her come to see B&S was my revenge for last year, when she forced me to accompany her to the ballet, when I had to entertain myself by thinking up puns to put on here. I think she got the best part of the deal. Earlier in the day we visited Neal's Yard Dairy, which is probably the best cheese shop in London. We bought something called Stinking Bishop which lived up to its name. The inside of Butter's bag, which she used to carry the cheese around in for the rest of the day, smells like an old pair of trainers now. After the dairy shop, we sat with the dossers in Leicester Square then had dinner at Belgo, where the Brug beer tastes like liquid heaven. Last week, Chris from Melbourne visited, giving me another chance to reminisce about the good and bad times in Japan. We went to see Mean Girls which was sharp and funny. Chris gave me his copy of The Da Vinci Code, which I read this week. What a deeply silly book. When I started reading it, I was so outraged by how badly-written it is that it kept me awake at night. After a while though, the terrible prose stops being so offensive and you get into the story. Well, it's not really a story - it's a puzzle. The characters are flatter than a crap boxer's nose, the whole thing is totoally unbelievable and the ending is very disappointing. However, it has inspired me in a way and made me realise that thrillers are the kind of books that I really want to write, even if it's just to prove that I can do better than this. At the moment, I'm reworking my BBC-commissioned book (and god knows what's happening with them, by the way) and also have a fantastic idea for another joint novel with my friend LV. Big Brother 5 has been going for 7 weeks now, unbelievably, and has been fantastic so far - the best series yet. On Day 2 I put £5 on Nadia to win, envisioning the headlines: Portuguese Transexual Wins BB5. She was 20-1 against back then. Now she's 10-11 on. The bookies are usually right, aren't they? £100. I'll be rich. Rich! Sunday, July 04, 2004
My post-football funk has lasted quite a long time. But don't worry, gentle readers - I'm back back back! With a double-length dose of MarkCity news. Last Friday, I went to the Groucho again, hoping for more star-spotting action. I think they must know when I'm coming because there wasn't a single celeb in sight. Not even any former Big Brother contestants. The nearest to a celeb was the bloke who writes the TV reviews for the Evening Standard. Pathetic. Saturday was a sad day because we had to say a fond farewell to our friend Lisa, the world's only Texan vegetarian. Or should that be Texas's only vegetarian? Whatever. She's leaving Blighty, partly because the men here are so rubbish and I'm already taken (joke), and going back to the US. So we now have another place to stay in my favourite country, and with cousin Martin moving to Florida, America could be seeing a lot more of us. But back to Tunbridge Wells: as part of Lisa's sayonara party, we went to what must be among the challengers for the worst nightclub ever, Da Vinci's. It's crapness isn't only down to the no-trainers policy - a sure sign of a provincial naffhouse - or it's cretinous clientele. It's mainly about the music. I shudder to recall how they played - deep breath - The Proclaimers. And 'Hi Ho Silver Lining'. And Vanilla Ice. It was like being at a wedding disco in hell. Da Vinci's is about as cutting edge as it gets in Tunbridge Wells. The ridiculous thing was that this cheese was blasted at a volume that made the music even more painful. I've already f**ked up my ears by going to too many gigs over the years, and after Saturday night I had tinnitus for about 4 days. I genuinely thought that was it. And if I'd lost my hearing the the frigging Proclaimers I'd have bee seriously peed off. To avoid further aural scarring I've ordered some special earplugs from the States for the next gigs I attend. Sunday night we went to the theatre. My long-term readers will realise that theatre isn't really my thing and that I am a total philistine when it comes to Shakespeare and such things. However, my boss has written a play which was being previewed at the Old Vic. He's a bit of a genius, my boss. Butter came because she was hoping to spy Kevin Spacey, but he wasn't there. Again, he must have known I was coming. |